March 10th 2010



I used to keep a diary of my thoughts when I was younger, but I haven’t written in one for a very long time. I was sitting in the drive through for McDonalds & I was thinking about some stuff, I thought, I’d be really good to write this down so maybe I could work through it later. So here I am, my first journal entry.


My thoughts from the drive through were, I can’t focus on more than one thing at a time. I can be a mom & a wife at the same time, however, it seems I cannot focus on eating a healthy diet & grow spiritually at the same time. Every challenge I find in my life I can overcome, however, something else falls backseat or even out of the van while I am working on that one challenge. Why can’t I excel in all challenges in my life? I wrote above that I can be a mom & a wife, but really, when I feel I am a very good mom I slack off in the wife side.  I can't seem to dedicate & improve more than one area of my life at a time.


I am loving life right now. I am a SAHM with two wonderful daughters. Jaylin is so stubborn though. I get so frustrated at times because I cannot get her to do something if she truly does not want to do it. I was out of my thyroid med for about a month & I hated asking her to do anything, however, now that I am back to being centered I feel like I am in control of the situation. She may think she is in control, but I pick my battles  Today Jaylin went to school in mud boots, jogging pants, & an adidas jacket/shirt. The outfit that I picked out is just adorable, but then she adds the mud boots, urgh, oh well, not worth the fight! I got her to keep on her jacket, but I bet as soon as she gets to school it will come off.


Aubrey is 3 now & starting to act a little like her sister, however, I find it much easier to deal with her. She should be taking a nap right now, but I can hear her playing around. She started cheer yesterday & she was such a cutie! Jumping around all crazy, she was meant to run around & be center of attention. Full of life that girl is.


I’ve been thinking a lot lately, mainly because our old Pastor (one I really respected & liked) resigned from our old church due to his marital infidelity. I am in such shock & I can’t stop thinking about their family. Jody (his wife) must feel like life is over, her pattern of life must be so crazy & unfocused. I don’t know what I would do or think if something like that happened to me. I’d hope that I could act as together as she seems to. I would hope that I could be strong enough in my faith to look to God for guidance. I know even now that there are times that temptation for sin gets so strong that I am so spiritually weak that I don’t know if I would/could pray to God for help. I constantly pray to God to make me stronger to resist sin.